Is there a therapist out there that can help me of my conflicting issues and feelings, but is also aware of the issues that Asian-Americans face and the lines of it?
Like, I really need someone to know about these things, and not to tell me to “just ignore it for your own good cos it’s not necessary for your mental health.”
And I wish I could throw in a therapist who knows about Tumblr and everything that goes around here, but that’s too much to ask for so I might as well try writing it down and explaining it to them.
(Might as well bring my laptop and show them certain posts.)
It’s really overwhelming me right now.
I feel kind of incomplete for writing private posts.
But I guess it’s for the best.
WELL YOU’RE NOT AND YOU NEVER WILL BE
i tried so hard
to be with
just and only
but then i realised
that everything before
an ‘i love you’
I’m cooking a potato right now.
*awkwardly asking Dad for one dollar from his wallet and walking away quickly while laugh crying hysterically*
"The more things change, the more they stay the same."
I feel so bad cos I just woke up (I didn’t go to work today, they didn’t need my help), I didn’t do the dishes, my Dad was telling me how this job doesn’t pay me enough,and I actually did have pending transactions on my debit card, so I’m -15 cents in my bank account. Tomorrow I go to work, but my gas tank is ridiculously empty. I need to scarf $2.50 dollars tonight. Ultimately, I do nothing about it but drown myself in reality television, sleep, and Tumblr.
But things are supposed to get better, right?
Damn it, my Dad just finished doing the dishes… AND made me orange juice… D:
Trust me, I already know the solution to fixing this, it’s really really simple, but I just can’t physically bring myself to do it.
I’m so worried that time is slipping by and I’m wasting it.
I just had a dream that I had a Myspace profile again, but it wasn’t like the shitty Myspace profile it is now, it was like that 2007 shit again.
On the headline, I wrote, “LOL is there anybody using this again??” And I thought about Facebook and thought about how pretentious I am for having a Myspace, but not a Facebook.
My profile had some odd mixture of English and Spanish written all over, as I felt that Myspace was never very competent in consistency. My profile was really plain, but my interests had ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ all over.
I added some folk from eighth grade that I knew, the notable ones being Ben, Stephanie, and Jannel.
Ben was someone who lived in Las Vegas, but he and I often chatted through mutual friends. He’s bisexual like me, and he wanted me to come to Las Vegas and join him at university. Well somehow I managed to zap myself to the campus and find Ben and made out with him, and then decided that this university wasn’t for me when the Asian association club got too wild in their parties.
Back to the Myspace profile. I logged on at the campus while eating BBQ Pringles and befriended Stephanie, who in real life, every time I saw her profile, she was always writing heaps and heaps of paragraphs about how much she loved her mustached, spiked hair boyfriend. In my dream, she posted a Myspace bulletin really blabbing about her life, and posted GIFs of herself dancing in front of the mirror and images that looked like they came from a movie. It was as if she made a movie out of herself.
At this point, I find myself at my Grandma’s house, still eating those BBQ pringles. My cousin was on the phone via land line on the couch.
So this time, I added a girl named Jannel who was besties with this girl named Lina in middle school. I didn’t add Lina, even though in real life, I talked to Lina more. But Jannel messaged me and was like, “Wow I like your profile with all the ▒▒▒▒’s, say, you used to go to WMS didn’t you? Lol how come we never met before?”
And I proceeded to type: “Well, it’s probably cos I always considered you to be the popular kids and I was incredibly shy; we never had any classes together, but I always came across your Myspace profile and wrote what you had to say.. I always thought we would be good friends cos you seem so sweet but it wouldn’t have been possible cos you’re probably not physically attracted to me, but I still got jealous over some girl named Anjelica that you hung out with cos she did a lot of doodles on her profile…”
And then I woke up.
I miss Myspace.
these feels are too real
"I wish we could all stop pretending that our choices are independently made."
I’m scared that Katy Perry is going to talk in an interview about how she “specifically wanted Japanese people in performance, so I’m not racist! They said it was okay and not offensive.”
And then she gets to laugh herself to bed with profit and more fame.
25 Nov 2013 / 0 notes
Dr. Seuss was not even in the general area of fucking around.
#everyone thinks of dr seuss as some sweet old guy who wrote kids books and made up cute words#little do they know he was the most hardcore political motherfucker to ever draw cartoons for newspapers of all time basically#he was of german and jewish descent and got bullied a lot as a kid#then he grew up and drew cartoons for the school paper#and when he got fired for being to fucking real for the paper to handle he made up a new name and KEPT SUBMITTING THEM ANYWAY#BECAUSE HE NEVER FUCKED AROUND FOR A SECOND#DID YOU KNOW DR SEUSS DID A FEATURE LENGTH DOCUMENTARY AFTER WWII ABOUT HOW WWII WASN’T ACTUALLY OVER AND THE NAZIS WERE STILL ALL AROUND#IT WAS CREEPY AS ALL FUCK AND MORE HARDCORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW#IT WON A FUCKING OSCAR OR SOME SHIT#HE DID KIDS BOOKS ON A WHIM HIS REAL TALENT WAS DISMANTLING FASCIST REGIMES WITH ADORABLE BLACK AND WHITE SKETCHES OF TURTLES#OH YEAH AND YURTLE THE TURTLE WAS ABOUT HITLER#AND THE SNEECHES WERE ABOUT SEGREGATION#SO FUCK Y’ALL AND YOUR CANDY-ASS VISION OF DR SEUSS
I think almost all of his stories have a deeper meaning and Horton Hears a who was written as an apology to the Japanese after WWII
………… that’s really upsetting.
I have never wanted to watch Entertainment Tonight as much as I do nowadays. (A piped interest, to say the least.) I didn’t expect to be so hooked on shows like Here Comes Honey Boo Boo or Keeping Up with the Kardashians, either.
I guess I’m just a sucker for reality television. I’m just not much of an anime person anymore, nor am I a sitcom or daytime drama or nighttime drama person either, so that’s how I get my kicks.
25 Nov 2013 / 0 notes